Healthy Sleep Habits

As we enter week 3,627 of staying at home with our beloved children, let’s talk for a bit about sleeping! Have your kids been getting up earlier and earlier? You’ve come to the right place. Today we’re going to go over healthy sleep habits and the “Ok to wake” products on the market, and how to use them effectively. Just in time for mother’s day!

Healthy sleep patterns are essential to the survival of parents and caregivers everywhere, even more so now that we’re spending so much more uninterrupted time with our little ones. How much sleep should your child be getting? This handy chart can help you decipher how many hours a night each person needs by age.

A child between the ages of 3 and 5 needs 10-13 hours of sleep per night, over 5 and you’re looking at 9-12 hours. How much sleep is your child getting in a 24-hour period? If it’s less than the numbers above, let’s chat. It was said to me as a young parent that sleep begets sleep. A well-rested child rests well, etc. I also quickly discovered that if my child skips a nap and stays up past their bedtime, there is absolutely no way in the world that it means they will sleep in the following day. I have actually laughed in the face of my childless friends who suggested we could indeed stay out late with our children just one time because we would all sleep in the next day. Cute.

Real footage of my bedroom

Before we discuss getting our children to sleep in later, let’s discuss healthy sleep habits. If you are a regular reader of mine, you know that kids crave consistency, kids crave schedules, kids crave routines. Bedtime is no different. Try to keep a consistent time of day when your child naps (if they still nap), and when they get in to bed. You will definitely find that sweet spot where your child needs to be in bed. Our oldest takes a long time to wind down on her own in her room, so she goes to bed at 7pm, but there are nights she’s still up talking to herself at 9.

She also recently gave up napping, your condolences are appreciated. The bright spot there is she is now out cold by 7:30. Yay!

Bedtime routines should consist of more than just a steady bedtime. 30-60 minutes before bed start the wind-down process. Most nights for us include a bath, a cup of warm milk, cuddles, and a Pixar short or two (thanks to Disney+…not a sponsor…but one can dream), depending on how much time we have. At 7:00 on the dot we head upstairs, brush teeth, and read no more than 2 books before lights out. Just kidding, we argue about wanting to hear another story, we whine that we don’t want to sleep alone, we say we’re scared, we need to go potty, we need a cup of water… you know, the thing all toddlers do. Our house is no exception, it’s amazing how bedtime can be the most trying part of our days, isn’t it? We all struggle to find our groove, and what works one week definitely won’t work the other week. In all seriousness, if this is a huge point of contention in our life and you’d like some help, call me.

Now, on to the hardware portion of the evening. (Cue 50 Shades of Grey joke…)

 Now that we know our child is getting the amount of sleep that they need, and they still insist on getting out of bed at 5am, there are some great products on the market that refer to themselves at “Ok to wake” timers. Here is the one we use:

It may be a bit pricey, and there are definitely cheaper ones on the market, but this one I can control from my phone, can set up for nap time and bedtime schedules, has many color changing options, and doubles as a sound machine. I like its multi-tasking awesomeness.

Whichever product you choose to use, set it for a realistic time to signal to your child that it’s ok for them to leave their room. That’s right, these machines will not magically make your child sleep longer, they train your child to stay in their room in the morning until you reach a reasonable hour. These signals are wonderful but don’t work on their own, it takes some work and some training on your end, and a lot of these products don’t come with a comprehensive instruction manual. Here are the key points to remember:

Pick a reasonable time

Don’t set the timer to change at 9am on a Saturday so you can sleep in. Keep it at a consistent time every day and choose a time that is feasible. If they are waking up at 4am on a daily basis, set the timer for 4:30am and increase in 30-minute increments as they are successfully following the rules.

Set Rules and Reinforcement

Clearly explain what the clock is for, and what the rules are that need to be followed. It’s ok for them to be awake, and it’s ok to play, but they need to play quietly in their room until the light turns blue. Then explain what they get if they stay in their room. See my post on token systems and reinforcement for more info on that! For reference, my child gets to play on my phone while I get ready for work and drink coffee. If she doesn’t stay in her room, she doesn’t get the phone.

BE CONSISTENT

This is the hardest part. The first morning (and second and third and fourth), when your child comes in your room promptly at 4am completely forgetting about the clock, you have to remind them of it, walk them back to their room, and put them back in their bed. Every. Single. Time. No matter how much they protest, no matter how much they whine, no matter how tired you are. You are putting in work now for a glorious extra hour or two of sleep in the future. If you allow them to climb in your bed and play on your phone so you can fall back asleep (GUILTY), your child will learn that these are “sometimes” rules that are enforced and are more likely to test the waters. The more consistent you are, the more consistent their behavior will be.  

Lastly, I wanted to share with you a bit of genius that was gifted to me when my daughter started to have nightmares and bedtime fears: Sleeper Hero.

 This little guy has a light on his chest that shines red at night when the light is pushed, and changes to green when it’s ok to get up. He has a book that he comes with that explains that sleeper hero is a superhero that you sleep with at night and protects you while you sleep. When the light is red, that means he’s activated and in protect mode. When it turns green it means you made it through another night and can go find mom and dad. This did wonders for my daughter for a long time, and when she has a string of bad nights, we bust this little guy out, read the book together, and 9 times out of 10 it does the trick.

There are so many products on the market, big and small, and they all work in a very similar way, so whichever product you end up with, you will find the most success if you are consistent and follow through. I wish you luck and good sleep! As always, if you hit any snags I’m here to help!