100 Days of Zoom — Learning Beyond the Spectrum

I’ve written a lot over the last year about the pandemic. We’ve discussed short term coping skills, long term coping skills, and I don’t know about you, but I really am proud of the fact that I may be single-handedly keeping the local wineries in business. Come to Santa Barbara, the wine here is really good. It pairs best with whining children and Bridgerton.

Today, my 5 year old is celebrating her 100th day of school. This is a day her teacher has been talking about for weeks. Each day this week they have completed some kind of craft related to the number 100, and my daughter is genuinely excited for the celebration. She will wear her crown, shake her 100 bead shaker she made, and celebrate with her class. On a FaceTime call last night with my sister (a teacher in New York and my hero) she excitedly told my daughter “that means only 80 days left! You’re more than halfway done!”

I can’t help but feel a sense of mourning. What a grim milestone (yet another one). This is 100 days of meeting via zoom. 100 days she hasn’t been able to set foot in a classroom. 100 days and she’s yet to meet her teacher or classmates in person. This is my daughter’s first year of “big kid” school. The magical kindergarten year where kids are introduced to the wonder that is school, paving the way for a lifetime love of learning, or at least we hope.

Kids sitting close together on a carpet. What a foreign concept.

Instead we (I) endure daily meltdowns and whining about having to be on a computer. I am pulling out every single item from my behavior analyst bag of tricks and am reaching the bottom of the bag. She misses her friends, as do I. Here in Southern California there is no tentative date for reopening of schools. More than halfway through the year I am running out of hope that they will open at all.

All of this to say, this is her first year of school. She “doesn’t know what she’s missing”. She doesn’t grasp the concept that this is out of the ordinary which is both comforting and terrifying at the same time. My heart hurts for those of you with older children who know what they are missing, who are sad they won’t be able to exchange valentines with their classmates in a few weeks and who missed the Halloween parade and planning their costume with their best friends.

As we enter our 101st day of zoom, this is to serve as your friendly reminder: kids are resilient, teachers are amazing. Our kids will come out of this and move forward. They will remember this time as a time spent with family, being super bored oh my gosh mom why can’t I just play video games all day it’s not like we’re going anywhere.

Teachers are already gearing up for filling in the gaps, welcoming our children back, and supporting them as they adjust or re-adjust to the in-person classroom. We are seeing several lights at the end of the tunnel, and looking ahead to a better time when our kids can whine about having to get up to physically go to school, and we can forge our way forward in a post-pandemic world. Whether that means to work in peace without children bursting through the door during a meeting, or simply being able to maintain homeostasis and take an hour to breathe without a child also breathing directly on us.

If you are struggling and need some more items for your very own bag of tricks check out my post on token economy systems, increasing independence, schedules, dealing with noncompliance, intermittent reinforcement, sibling relations, and so, so much more.

Today I am thankful for teachers, for science, and for the 101st day of zoom.