Social Skills and Autism: Why We Should Teach Our Kids About Disabilities

In honor of Autism Awareness month, I wanted to take a look at some of the recent changes in discoveries in the world of Autism Spectrum Disorder and how it affects more than just the individual and their families.

Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD) is an ever-changing diagnosis with a list of symptoms and potential treatments to lessen these symptoms. The most recent number from the CDC report that 1 in every 59 children today are diagnosed with ASD.

What does this mean for a parent of a typically-developing child? More and more children are being put into “mainstreamed classrooms” for part or the entirety of their day at school. Chances are your school-aged child has a classmate (or many) who fall on the autism spectrum.

Children with ASD present with higher rates of depression and suicide than their typically-developing peers (Mayes et al, 2013), and the rates of bullying of children with ASD are increasing at an alarming rate (Cappadocia et al, 2011). One reason for this may be that not only do children with ASD not know how to interact with their peers; their peers do not know how to interact with them.

As parents of typically-developing children, we can give our kids the tools they need to successfully interact with children on the spectrum. We already teach our kids that while some people may be different than we are, that doesn’t mean we can’t be friends. We teach tolerance of race, sex, religion, etc., we need to add disabilities and functioning levels to that list.

Children with ASD are expressly taught everything from how to maintain eye contact during a conversation, to how to keep appropriate distance between themselves and peers during social interactions. These things our children did not need to be told, they learned through observing this behavior from others. A new study funded by the National Institutes of Health (NIH) suggests that children who receive social skills training that involves not only training the child with ASD how to interact with others, but their peers who interact with them yields significantly better results than treatment which just focuses on the child with ASD. 

Just this last weekend I was with my 3 ½ year old at a farmers’ market. I had bought her a balloon as a reward for letting me shop in peace. She was dancing to some music when a little girl with Down’s syndrome approached her and tried to play with her by attempting to swipe at her balloon. Immediately my daughter looked a little angry, this was her prize for being good, and I had just lectured her on being careful with it because it could pop and she most definitely wasn’t getting another one if it popped. The little girl looked at my daughter’s feet and asked if she would play with her. I stepped in and repeated the request so my daughter could hear it. “Oh sure!” my daughter exclaimed and the two began to dance together, chase each other, and giggle. My heart was so full seeing my daughter and her new friend play together, until the inevitable happened. The balloon popped. The two girls looked crestfallen and my daughter crumpled into tears, as toddlers tend to do and I explained to her that she had played so nicely with her new friend that I would get them a new one to play with. I’m hoping in my ever-optimistic mommy mind that in the future she will be more likely to play with kids who may have limited social skills since she had so much fun this time around. I also hope that her new friend gained some confidence in knowing that a simple request to play can be reciprocated, and can be a great time! I will also admit that I bought 4 balloons that day, money well spent.

By teaching our children how to interact with their typically and not-so-typically developing peers, we will increase their confidence in facilitating and maintaining social interactions with others. One way we can begin the lesson is by having a conversation about their peers, the fact that they may need a little more help than others, and that by being patient with them and sharing in their interests, they can make a very special friend. These skills will translate to a child who is more aware and tolerant of others, and a child who is able to make a meaningful impact in the lives of the people around them, just by making a friend.

Suicide ideation and attempts in children with autism

https://doi.org/10.1016/j.rasd.2012.07.009

Bullying Experiences Among Children and Youth with Autism Spectrum Disorders

https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007%2Fs10803-011-1241-x